Permission to Curse
by MarvelMe
Summary: Samus gives Ness permission to cuss at his teacher...yeah, but the dumbass took it WAY too far. Don't read if you get offended easily...Based off of Kevin Hart: Seriously Funnny. Rated T cuz da rulez DON't scare me, cuz I owns shotgun. .


_**I wrote this based off of Kevin Hart's **__**Permission to Cuss **__**in **__**Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny**__**. I give all credit to Kevin Hart and Super Smash Bros Brawl. We clear, bitches?**_

_**Enjoy.**_

There was only one time that I was ever given permission to cuss.

One time.

And trust me, it brought a whole butt load of problems along with it.

It was a normal day at school. I was doing what I usually do in class.

Anything but what I'm supposed to.

I mean, I don't like school. Not many kids do. And, at the time, I really didn't think there was any point in the whole thing.

Honestly, I didn't really understand the difference between school and the playground.

So, I tended to get in trouble.

A lot.

My teacher was very strict and often gave me detention or put me in time out or something.

But that day, she got pissed.

"Ness," She hissed. " Come here."

I stopped what I was doing and looked up at her. She had her eyebrows trimmed to what I heard the older kids call, "Bitchy Perfection". I guess they meant the snobby arch she made with her blond brow as she pursed her lipstick red lips.

I walked over to her cluttered desk. "What?" I asked.

She pulled out a peice of paper and stuck it to my shirt. She then stapled it on. "Take that note home and make sure your mom reads it."

I was a little suprised at her act, but then I was a little scared about the note. I didn't want to read it. It was probably a really long list of all the things I had done in the past week or maybe even a hundred reasons why I should be euthanised.

I was surely going to be killed when I got home.

"Okay," I said, and she dismissed me back to my desk.

When I got back to the mansion that afternoon, I was sweating like crazy. _Crap_, I thought, _She's so gonna kick my ass! What if she rips my balls off? Oh no...I need those!_

I shook my head as I walked through the halls and up to my room. I unlocked the door and went inside.

I held my breath for the hurricane to come.

Samus wasn't actually my mom. She was more like a surrogate mother or a mentor. I was reffered to as her "son" when it wasn't technically true. She was completely responsible for everything I did. And I did some pretty bad things.

Well, "somehow", she saw the note that was blatantly on my chest. It was then that I read it.

_Maybe if you showed you son some more attention at home, he wouldn't act like a fool in school._

As soon as she read it, she looked up at me. "Come here. Let me tell you something."

I walked over to where she was standing.

"You tell her to mind her _damn _buisness before I come down there and beat her ass!"

I was shocked and confused. I paused a moment before I replied. "Wait...so do you want me to say _that_ or take some stuff out-"

"What did I tell you? Tell her to mind her damn buisness before I come down there and beat her ass!" She repeated.

"No, no. I heard what you said. I just wanna make sure that you know you're telling me to say the same thing." I said quickly. I had a habit of talking very fast when I was nervous.

"Ness, If I tell you again, I'm gonna smack the shit out of you!" She said visciously.

"No-I got it-Yeah, Okay-I got it." I stuttered.

And suddenly, I felt the pressure. My mom had basically given me permission to cuss out a teacher. I didn't feel very comfortable with the situation.

What if I mess it up?

So, I felt the need to practice. I went to my room to go work on my lines in front of my mirror.

"Alright...Okay-i got this. Alright. okay," I stuttered again.

I took in a deep breath. "My mom told me to tell _you _to mind your DAMN-" I stopped. " No that's too loud. It's just not believable. Way too loud."

After many more attempts, I finally got my lines down.

_You know what_, I thought,_ I think I should go to bed early to get some rest. _

After all, tomorrow was a big day. I didn't want to mess it up.

So, I went to bed.

I woke up the next day in a hurry. I put on my shirt and shorts and threw my baseball bat and my yo-yo in my backpack. I threw on my cap and ran out the mansion to catch my bus. As soon as I got on, all of my friends got really excited. There was no denying my popularity.

"What's up, Ness!"

"Hey look, it's Ness!"

"Hey, sit by me!"

I put my hand up to stop their excitement. "Guys, not today. I got a lot on my mind. I can't really have you guys throwing me off."

"What are you talking about?" My friend Lucas asked.

"Look," I said sitting down. "I can't really go into too much detail. All I can tell you all is that _it's about to go down_."

"What?"

"Look man! I said it's about to go down! Just be behind me when I walk in class!" I was frustrated.

"Alright, cool." He said and they all nodded.

When I walked into the class, my teacher, Ms. Peach is greeting everyone from her desk.

"Hello."

"Good morning."

"How are you?"

"Hello."

Then, when she got to me, her eyebrow did that bitch thing and her tone got really snobby. "_Ness_." She said rudely.

Her attitude had pissed me off. "Ms. _Peach_." I replied just as rude.

"Did you let your mother read the note?" She asked.

"Yes. I. _Did_." I spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"So what did your mother say?"

Oh she was just begging for it.

I took a deep breath and turned to my friends. "_It's about to go down_." I said with a smirk.

I turned to the teacher. "Well...uh...My mom told me to tell _you-_"

"To mind your DAMN MOTHER FUCKING BUISNESS, BITCH!"

I pointed at her accusingly. "-LITTLE STUPID BITCH! LITTLE DUMB TEACHER BITCH! TWO-PLUS-TWO-NOT-KNOWING-WHAT-THE-FUCK-IT-IS-BITCH! CROSS-EYED, CRYING CUZ YOUR FAT-ASS BITCH! LONG TITTIED, NO-NIPPLE, UGLY ASS BITCH!"

Then, the room burst into chaos. There were a million laughs, and a whole bunch of suprised noises. My friends were in the background screaming, "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! HE SAID SHE AINT GOT NO NIPPLES!"

I stood there, arms crossed, eyes shadowed by my hair, and a smug smirk on my mouth, as I basked in my glory.

I got suspended.

But that wasn't the worst part.

Samus beat the shit out of me when I got home.

"I told you to say two curse words! You said seventy-two of them!" She said while beating my ass.

Turns out, the whole thing was just a lot of trouble. But...it was all worth it don't you think?

I showed that fat-ass, ugly bitch who the fuck she was messing with.

Cussing is awsome!

So there you go. Kids, don't try this with your own teachers. But, if you do, please video tape it and send it to me. XD

Review. Pretty-effin-please?


End file.
